I did go back to school in 2002. I was teaching school at a group placement facility. The students were boys from around the state who were mostly juvenile offenders. I loved teaching and thought myself an outstanding teacher. What I did not have was a valid California Teaching Credential. So I went back to school to get it.
I went to National University in San Bernardino and took night classes. During this time my daughter, Naomi was in and out of the hospital with her cancer treatments and side effects. So one night after class I stopped at Loma Linda University Medical Center to say goodnight to her. When I go to her room she had already gone to sleep. I sat with her for a few minutes then kissed her goodnight and went home. But that night stuck with me. I couldn’t stand being in school any more whether Naomi was home or not.
I faltered and failed my next class, owed money to the school, didn’t get my transcript submitted and lost my teaching job. The fact that I had no one to blame but myself only made me feel more like a failure. I made a half-hearted attempt to go back to school a few years ago but gave up. As vaguely as I see my future, I don’t think I’ll ever go back to school.