It
wasn’t The Rabbit’s fault. I take full responsibility. Although the sands of
time can be blamed too, but blaming my age for my problems is tantamount to
cursing the darkness. I should light a candle instead.
I
am getting older. I will be 46 in just a few days. Sure in Galapagos Tortoise years I am still
pretty young. I the lives of a sequoia I am still an infant. But if I was a dog
I’d be dead. And 46 in human years isn’t too bad if one keeps oneself healthy.
I could have done better. Regardless of how old I am, I am beginning to feel some
age. The vision in my left eye was something in the lines of 20/70. It’s
astounding I even found The Walmart Vision Center that day to be examined. I’ve
got a lot of grey hair and for some reason, hair coming off my ears more.
And I can’t eat
the same way I used to. I can’t eat flautas like I wish I could. The fried
tortillas screw with my digestive system and turn it to spackle. And the other
night I had the chance to eat something from my past, Trix Cereal. I had a big
bowl and experienced once again that joy the joy of cereal and milk. I made the mistake of
looking at the ingredients and saw trisodium phosphate. I have used that to
clean floors. That night I had a bellyache. The next day I ate another bowl and
had an even worse bellyache that gave me bizarre dreams. I can’t imagine eating
that stuff for breakfast. But I know I used to be able to eat a whole box of
Trix and wash it down with beer and feel fine. That is when I was young and
didn’t know what I would do with my life.
Long before I
washed sugary cereal down with beer, I watched Saturday morning cartoons and the
inevitable commercials that went with them. That poor Rabbit with his Sisyphean life never getting the Trix. And I
have only recently realized the genius of those ads aimed at kids. The
rabbit always lost, the kids always won.
Eat this sugary concoction fortified with Na3PO4. It’s
just part of a nutritious breakfast.
As a kid I thought that mean eating only part of it meant you were good.
TV people know how
to reach kids. They have to have studied a lot of child psychology to know how
to do that. And that got me wondering, do college students start out thinking
that they want to study child psychology so that they can entice kids to eat
floor cleaner? Or do they begin all starry-eyed with hopes of improving the
world, and somewhere along the line sell their souls?
Back to when I was
eating beer and Froot Loops or Trix. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my
life. But if you asked me, I would not have cared for a job that involved
poisoning children. And here I am 20something years later with an intolerance
for what I used to love and a box of trisodium phosphate on my shelf of
supplies, about to turn 46, and still certain that I want to do good in the
world.
It’s been a long
stretch around the points of my conscious thoughts this time. From aging to
cereal to floor cleaner to child psychology. I’m not sure I’ve made a point or
just ranted along for 589 words.
Here is what I am
sure of:
·
I am having a birthday and that is just part of
what is making me feel older.
·
I am stunned by how brilliant television ads
made me feel like I could be a winner if I was a kid.
·
I am not a kid any more.
·
I am not a loser for not being a kid. Kids with
their iron guts can have Trix. I have a whole box of trisodium phosphate I can
clean floors with and that will make me feel tons better.
Lastly, trisodium
phosphate is a legitimate food additive and not actually poisonous when used in
the quantities deemed safe by the FDA. Please, no-one sue me for that.
Here’s to another
year.