When
the knock came to Shifra’s door, she wanted to shout that she was sleeping and
to go away. When she opened the door and saw the dimwitted innkeeper’s daughter
smiling at her, Shifra knew that the girl may have believed the ruse. Oh well,
the door was open and there was the girl smiling at her. A knock at the door at
this time of night could only mean one thing. A child was to be delivered. And
if it was the innkeeper’s daughter, then the mother having the child was most
likely from out of town. Would they have any form of payment for a midwife? The
last foreigner had offered to pay in sand. Yes, sand that they claimed was from
their home soil and brought fabulous luck. Shifra had gone hungry for days
after that. Hunger. Tonight another small one would come to know that.
“So, another mouth
to feed and another back to be broken under Roman tyranny,” Shifra said to the
girl. The girl looked puzzled and seemed to consider. Then she smiled and
nodded.
“And my old bones
aching from the cold,” Shifra said and she turned and got her wrap. “I thought
these summer months would be warm and pleasant. I’m sure that the sheep on the
hills outside the town will freeze to death in this cold. And the shepherds
watching over them… Ah, but I’m sure they don’t. The cold is sent to vex only
me, Right girl?”
The girl was
running her fingers over Shifra’s rough doorframe. She was about to shout to
the girl to stop before she caused the whole little shack to fall to the
ground. But the poor girl’s look of bliss was too much to quell.
Shifra had
delivered this girl some 15 years back. The girl had come into the world
backwards and blue. Usually, when that happened, Shifra gave it up. But this
child had been strong and gurgled to life. But those minutes of blueness had
taken their toll. The girl grew up not quite understanding most things. She
spoke only rarely and always seemed happy. To be happy all the time, Shifra
thought. That was a sure sign of something wrong.
Shifra knew that
she herself made up for it in bitterness. The anger at the world, the
resignation seemed to have grown over the years. Every year, another year of
loneliness. Another year of children being born and handed over to parents to
live in this sad world that had no hope. The promised messiah was just a story.
The real world was without hope. Once Shifra accepted that, everything seemed
so much easier. Of course she had suffered a lot years ago. That had robbed her
of any joy she might have carried into her later years.
“Very well then
girl,” Shifra said, pulling her cloak tight. “Perhaps at least your father will
provide a bowl of broth for a poor old woman, yes?”
The girl smiled
and nodded. Shifra was confident that Josiah the innkeeper would not want Shifra
to leave without something to eat or some other form of compensation. The man
was generous beyond belief, taking in lodgers until his rooms were full. Tonight
there may even be people sleeping in corridors. The little town of Bethlehem
had more people than ever. This mother in labor would have no privacy.
Shifra let the
girl lead the way through the nighttime streets brilliant with moonlight. More
people than usual were sleeping in the streets these days. It was that Roman
censes. The Romans wished more taxes from everyone, regardless of whether or
not they wished to live under Rome.
The girl began to
wander away from the direction of her father’s inn toward the outside of town. Shifra
stopped walking and watched the girl, but she didn’t turn around. She sighed.
“You’re going the
wrong way, you silly girl,” she said. “Don’t you know where your home is?”
The girl turned
around and smiled. “Yes,” she said softly.
Well, the girl had
spoken. Yes, of course she knew where her home was. So why was she leading Shifra
across a pasture to a stable?
“No. No,” Shifra
called ahead of her and hurried to catch up. “You don’t fetch a midwife to
deliver a cow. Animals can be born all by themselves.”
But the girl kept
walking. Overhead, the moon was blazing like a brilliant white bonfire. Shifra
paused and looked up. Then she stopped mid-step and almost fell forward. It
wasn’t the moon. It was a star. It was a star such as she had never seen
before. It looked to have more colors that the usual white. There were
needle-like rays extending out that seemed to shine in almost rainbow colors.
She stood and
stared until she felt her arm gently touched. Shifra started at the girl
standing by her. The girl too, was looking at the star. The baffling thing was
that when she did, her dimwitted smile was replaced by a smile of knowing. The
girl’s mouth had closed and her eyes narrowed as her head titled up to look. Then
she looked back to Shifra with the same look of understanding. They both looked
at each other for a moment and then Shifra shook off the wonder.
“Let’s see this
mother in need,” she said. And they both started off for the stable.
There were the
sounds of animals stirring, disturbed from their sleep. Shifra could smell them
too. How nice, she thought. A child born amongst animals, surrounded by their
noise and smell. What kind of life would this baby grow into?
Walking into the
stable, Shifra saw a man hunched down over a young woman. The woman was holding
a small bundle. So the Hebrew women continued to be lively, it seemed. The
child had arrived quickly. Shifra considered just turning and walking away. She
could go home, back to her mat and blanket where she would lie all night and
curse the darkness. No, best check the child over. Make sure the mother was
alright. Maybe she would still, even now, receive some compensation.
The mother was
young, Shifra observed. The husband, a little older looked up with a smile.
“You’ve come to
see,” he said.
Shifra raised her
eyebrows. “I’m the midwife,” she said. “I see that the child is come already.
Do you want me to look him over and see to his health?”
Then the mother
looked up into Shifra’s eyes. Shifra was stunned at this girl’s expression of
peace and knowing. Why should a young mother who had just experienced
childbirth look this way? She looked as if she had married a wealthy merchant
and would never know hunger. But no. Shifra looked more at the young mother. That
wasn’t the giddy look of a bride on her wedding day. No, it was the look of
someone who knew that they were safe from something, like fear or hunger. But this
young mother had a new mouth to feed. The same mouth would howl all night and
deprive her of sleep and eventually her beauty too. The child would go on to
break her heart. Perhaps he would be walking at night and never return and this
mother would never know if her child was alive or dead.
Shifra shuddered
at the feelings in her. This was not time to reflect on how she felt. This new
mother was exhausted. The look of calm relief was that the pain and pushing were
done. She walked closer to the mother and child and tried to ignore the look of
hope the mother had.
“Let’s have a
look,” she said. “A little boy?”
The mother nodded
and turned the bundle in her arm. She had done well wrapping the baby up. She
saw his face, red and wrinkled. His eyes were closed and his mouth moved in
smacking motions.
Shifra felt her
heart soften. “We’ll leave him wrapped up for a while,” she said. “He’ll be
awake soon enough. You both can rest.”
She became aware
of someone next to her. It was the innkeeper’s daughter. She had gotten on her
knees, as if in prayer and was looking at the child. Her face wasn’t the empty
smile now. There was almost a look of apprehension.
“The baby is fine,
girl,” Shifra said. “Everything is fine. Oh my…”
Shifra shuddered
as the girl held her hands out to the baby and the mother, not much older,
handed the child over with a smile.
“Careful,” Shifra
said. “Hold his head, yes, that’s the way. There you go.”
And then the silly
young girl was holding the baby and had the same look on her face. This was a
look of someone who had heard good news. Shifra looked at the father and saw
the same thing. Everyone looked to this child as if he were some king who would
bring peace and prosperity to the land. But it was just a helpless child. A
child who would someday feel the crush of the world just like everyone else.
“Well,” Shifra
said. “The child seems well, perhaps I will just be on my way then.” She stood
and waited for someone to at least look in her direction. But everyone was
looking at the newborn boy. She looked at him again. He was no different, she
thought. But why then, did something feel different? Did that star in the sky
put some kind of spell on this night?
She would get no
compensation. The innkeeper’s daughter handed the child back and went to the
feeding trough. She would find her own way home. Shifra turned and headed to
the stable door, but gasped in surprise. The door was blocked by a group of
dirty men. Bandits, surely. They had come to steal the animals and would carry
off the young women too.
Shifra opened her
mouth to shriek, but then recognized the man in the front, and her heart went
from fearful to hard anger.
“Hello Berel,” she
said.
“Hello,” whispered
the biggest of the men in a soft voice. He hadn’t even noticed who spoke to
him. He too was ignoring Shifra and looking at the baby boy.
“What are you
doing here?” Shifra hissed at the man. “Get your dirty band of shepherds out of
this place. There is a newborn child. You don’t belong…”
She stopped as the
group of men stepped around her. Then they got to their knees, just like the innkeeper’s
daughter. They had on that same look of wonder, of reverence even. What was it?
What had enchanted all of these people? The child? Well, she wasn’t impressed.
Shifra watched as
the young mother got up and placed the child into the hay of the feeding
trough. Then she joined the others in gathering around the manger, kneeling as
if in prayer or worship. Even Berel and his shepherds knelt with heads bowed.
Shifra looked at
the baby in the manger and then to everyone gathered around. What could this
possibly mean other than perhaps she was still back on her mat asleep and
shivering in the cold? But at this moment she didn’t feel cold. She felt more
than warmth. The wonder and joy of those gathered in the stable seemed to spread
to her. Shifra felt the warmth of it all. She began to relax and took a step
toward the manger.
Berel knelt in
front of her staring at the child in the manger. Shifra felt her heart grow
tense. How could he be here revering a child? Had he lost his mind to the drink
again? He didn’t belong in this peaceful place. She nudged him with her foot.
He looked up at her with the bliss almost like the dim innkeeper’s daughter.
Then he recognized her. He smiled even more broadly at that. Shifra felt her
face harden into a glare and Berel’s face turned confused.
“Who did you leave
behind this time?” Shifra hissed at him. Berel rose slowly to his feet and took
her by the arm.
“No, I’m not one
of your sheep,” Shifra whispered as he led her out the stable door. Once they
were outside she turned on him. He held his hands up to her.
“Shifra, be calm I
implore you,” he said. “This is not the night for anger and bitterness. Let’s
be at peace just for now?”
“Why are you
here?” she asked him. “Who did you leave alone on a hillside this time to be
eaten by wild beast or disappear, never to be seen again? What mother will
mourn the loss of a son tonight?” Shifra realized her voice was breaking and
she covered her face. Too late. She felt the tears wetting her palms.
“Shifra,” Berel
said almost in a whisper. “I will lament the loss of your son for the rest of
my life. I was a fool back then to leave him while I went for drink. You have
every reason to hate me forever. But for tonight, I ask that you set that
aside.”
“I can’t,” Shifra
croaked.
“Shifra,” Berel
said. “Look.”
Shifra uncovered
her face. There outside the stable were almost a hundred sheep. Most had
settled to the ground and all of them seemed content.
“Berel,” Shifra
said. “Why are you here?”
And Berel told
her.
“A messenger of
God came to us,” he said. “I was never more frightened in my life. But as soon
as he spoke, I wasn’t afraid anymore. In fact he told us to not be afraid. He
told us that he brought us good news for everyone. That a child was born that
was The Savior.”
Shifra looked at
his face. This wasn’t the face of someone on the drink. Was he speaking the
truth? This was not the Berel that blustered and fought. He had tried to make peace
with her. What had come over this man to change him so?
“The messenger
told us that we would find the child here. We came and it is just as we were
told. The child is wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger Shifra, exactly as
we were told.”
Shifra tried to
hush Berel, but he continued.
“Once the
messenger told us were to find The Child Christ,” he said even louder. “The sky
lit up as if it was dawn with a thousand suns. Yet, we weren’t blinded. We all
saw the sky full of these messengers of God. They all were singing praises.
Singing glory to God and on Earth peace. Shifra, we said to each other that we
must go see this and we came. The sheep followed and we came here and… yes. We were
told the truth. It is just as the angel said. And the angel said it was the
savior of us all. This child is The Christ.”
“The messiah?”
Shifra said. “This is a baby.”
“Jesus,” whispered
a voice. Shifra turned and saw the innkeeper’s daughter.
“What did you
say?” Shifra asked her.
“His name… Jesus,”
the girl said. “He is Christ, the Lord.”
Shifra stared at the
innkeeper’s daughter. She still had on the same smile as when she looked at the
star.
“The mother shall
name him Jesus?” Shifra asked. The girl nodded. “And the mother also told you
he is The Christ?”
The girl nodded
again. She extended her hand to Shifra. “Come see,” she said.
Shifra looked at
Berel. The man had a soft, but huge smile on his face. He nodded to her.
Shifra took the
girl’s hand and let herself be led back into the stable. It was still quiet.
She shepherds still knelt in reverence. The mother sat by the manger looking at
the child. Shifra carefully stepped up to the manger and looked down at the
child.
“He is well,” the
mother said.
Indeed, the baby
was awake and looking around. His eyes of course wouldn’t focus on anything
just yet. But he still seemed to be very much aware of everything around him.
“He will be hungry
soon,” Shifra said.
She didn’t take
her eyes off him. The reverence of everyone around was overwhelming. Even the
animals seemed to sense the wonder. Shifra couldn’t deny the awe that she felt.
The look on the mother’s
face as if her baby would someday save her. Everyone in the stable kneeling as if
in worship, the shepherds, even. And then Berel says he has seen messengers
from God who say that this is the promised messiah? This was a baby. He was
just a baby boy born in a stable lying in a manger.
This was just as
the angel had told Berel. Berel, who had been responsible for the loss of her
son. Berel whom she hated. She must not believe him.
She wanted to believe
him. She wanted the peace that the mother had.
And she looked at
the child at that moment, his eyes fixed on her. His mouth twitched. Newborns
didn’t smile. This was nothing. But at that moment, Shifra so wished that it
was a real smile. Oh, to have the messiah smile at her. And then she sank to
her knees. It was still painful to lower herself, but she didn’t care. She felt
in her the desire, the need for this child that looked at her to be just what
Berel said.
If this was truly
so, the messiah born tonight, how wonderful would that be? Berel had been so
heartbroken at the loss of her son. And tonight he was so filled with peace and
joy. Shifra wanted that. Would believing bring her that feeling?
The boy began to
shake his head back and forth. He was looking. Before Shifra could prompt, the
mother lifted the baby and brought him to her. Yes, he would be fine.
And that night in
the stable among the animals and shepherds, next to the smiling innkeeper’s
daughter, Shifra felt something for the first time in oh so many years. She thought
how Berel had described a sky full of angels of God. And that was what she felt
in her heart. When the tears came this time, they were of joy.