When I fill out the little “about me” questioners I usually put pretty much the same thing. I say how old I am, how many kids and that I like to write. Sometimes I’ll say I’m working on my first novel. I think that people often define themselves with their likes and dislikes. I also find myself identifying myself as Harrison’s father to many people at church. Then I nod and acknowledge yes he is good at the piano.
I don’t mind being the father to my kids and enjoy being the husband to Prajna. I don’t hang out in circles where people know her more than me anymore. There were about four years where she was part of a separate world. Prajna worked for a popular beverage retailer for a while to help the family make ends meet. If I stopped in there I was Prajna’s husband. Or I may have been the Americano guy with the antediluvian laptop.
Prajna’s store went through some turbulence over the years she was there. Managers came and went and employees had life dramas. Eventually I told Prajna that she was the glue that held that place together and my assessment was confirmed by a supervisor one day with my metaphor repeated exactly. Then when we moved to our new house next to my job Prajna quit. I was concerned for a while how we would get by. But Prajna began to feel so much better. The children felt better. I didn’t have to feel guilty telling her goodbye as she left at 4 in the morning. And all around the whole family sighed and relaxed as if now things were as they should be. Because Prajna was never meant to be defined as glue for a store or a barista. She was always meant to be a wife and mother. And today while her profile might say that she’s a homeschool mom of 5 children who loves to read and is training for her first full marathon in February, there is a lot more to her than can ever be listed.
There are not even words available that can say how much Prajna is loved by her family and her husband in particular. While I stumble for the right words to craft into a novel I still have difficulty putting into words just how much I love her. Maybe it’s because I’m a perfectionist when it comes to my writing and while I might scribble out a mediocre blog once a week, it’s much more important to communicate to her. And if I can’t put right into words how I feel I might just clam up.
The moon this morning at about 6:15 was off to the west and brilliant against the lightening blue sky. I remember once just over 20 years ago watching the moon go down over the pacific one summer morning. Up in the sky the last star faded and disappeared as dawn arrived. And I was so miserable because I was so lonely. That was all I ever felt before her. I’m so thankful to God for bringing her to me. And I love Prajna so much.
One more thing on Prajna’s profile might list the date of September 12th. Today is her birthday. Happy birthday Prajna. I love you.