fish sticks and Dr. Seuss

When Prajna and I were new parents we subscribed to Parents Magazine and even gave a subscription as a gift to friends. We haven’t had it for about a decade now but looking at the cover is amusing now. The theory of the month resurfaces regularly and the tips and tricks that parents send in can be funny too. (We solved eating problems…we just give him a fish stick for every meal!)
And yes, I’ve been told that I could write a parenting book. Maybe I could. But so could a lot of other homeschool families with 5 or more kids. And while Harrison taught himself to read when he was two, Benjamin didn’t start reading until he was six. If I’ve learned anything about parenting cutting six umbilical cords it is that kids are different.
So I can’t write a parenting book to advise anything except love your children unconditionally. Know what makes them different from other kids. I can only suggest other things like put a little variety in their meals and read them lots of books.

standing in another world

I had three odd socks today counting one of Prajna’s that I washed. Last week they came out even. I used to wear socks with holes in them on purpose. I called them my time travel socks.
I got the idea from C.S. Lewis's The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. The children are pulled into Narnia my magic. I got to thinking that if a magic spell, teleport beam, or something along those lines grabbed ahold of me that it might only take me and what’s immediately touching my body. So, having holes in my socks guarantees that my boots come along with me. If I felt the beam or spell in time I would thrust my hands in my pockets to hold my knife and whatever else. Money would not be a priority.
I tried not to think that time travel socks might only bring my insoles. I also ignore the actuality that I already was in another world called denial.

July 1999

If Naomi was alive today she would be 14. But she will be six forever. She was three and a half when she began having headaches, nausea, and body aches that made her limp.
Her personality even changed. By the time an MRI found the tumor by her adrenal gland her cancer was advanced.
When the pediatric oncologist took me into a little conference room she had already took Prajna and was tearing up. She told me it was neuroblastoma. It was cancer. The shock and despair that followed was agonizing.
A few days later we met with a family whose little girl had relapsed. The dad took me aside and assured me that it would get better. He didn’t mean Naomi. I understood he meant the horror and confusion. I believed him. And in a few months we were used to the fevers and throwing up and glances at the bald girl.
He was right.

he's more like her than anyone

We learned that Prajna was pregnant with our sixth child just before we learned that Naomi’s cancer had spread to her bone marrow and she didn’t have much time left. Naomi never saw her brother on this side of heaven.
I lost my teaching job in April of 2003 five months after Naomi died. On July second of that year I started a new job as a land surveyor. The due date came and went. Then Sunday morning after the longest labor the smallest baby we had was born.
Nathaniel Patrick Faux was not what we were used to. Fussy and needy more than all other children combined. Maybe that was a time we needed to be needed though.
Nathaniel was also a late talker. He was more manageable once he could be understood. He has an amazing ability to remember numbers and sequences. He has the heart of a planner in charge. He will be seven years old in a month and a day and we still call him Pickle.

we left the cart full of toys in the line

In the interstate ten freeway in Redlands, California there is a beautifully landscaped interchange to the 210 freeway. In 2001 it was still called the 30 freeway. There are rocks and waterfalls and plants. This is where I figured our child would be born if we didn’t have him at home.
Sarah was born in just under an hour and Prajna’s hospital stay after was not helpful. So having the next child at home made great sense. We found a wonderful midwife and had prenatal visits with her.
Even with the comfort knowing about a home birth that was a difficult year. Naomi relapsed in the late summer. And in September of that year it was scary to know you were bringing a child into the changed world.
Prajna and I were Christmas shopping in San Bernardino the evening of December 1st. We were just 5 minutes from Loma Linda University Medical Center and Prajna water broke. We made it home in time. Jamie was born.

a good day on the highway

Lots of cool things have made a lot of awesome days in my life. I got to go aboard a Nuclear Submarine for a tour, kick a door in at church, eat free at a fancy restaurant and other things. An obvious answer to what’s the best day of my life was my wedding day.
Days my children were born too, but the day Sarah was born is up there at the top.
I had taken the week off from teaching. Benjamin being born in about an hour made me want to stay close. We had an emergency home delivery kit too, which we ended up using.
Harrison was at school. Prajna and I went for a walk with Naomi and Benjamin. We ran into an old friend that we hadn’t seen since the night Naomi had been born. The kids went down for a nap after lunch and Prajna’s contractions grew strong and regular. We couldn’t leave home with the kids napping and Harrison due home soon. We called Prajna’s mom.
When Prajna’s labor got even stronger we reassessed the situation and I called the paramedics. I hung up on them when Prajna called for me. Our little girl was on her way. Prajna’s mom got there in time to coach. I played doctor, or catcher. The delivery was textbook routine. I suctioned the nose as the head came out and made sure the cord wasn’t wrapped around her neck. She came out a minute later blue and calm. I suctioned her again and the paramedics arrived in time to give her some oxygen help cut the cord. Harrison arrived home from school in time to see us getting into the ambulance.
The paramedics wanted to write ‘Jane Doe’ on their paper work so we named our daughter Sarah Marie Faux right there on Mokulele Highway.

Második fia

Benjamin was born in the middle of the night in the summer of 1997. Hong Kong was going back to China at the time. We were in Budapest, Hungary. Prajna had been having contractions for months. Then she woke me up to tell me it was time.
We called a friend from church to come and watch Harrison and Naomi and then I called a taxi. In the two years in Hungary I rode maybe 5 times in a motor vehicle that was not public transport.
At the hospital a cheerful nurse asked in “Mi a baj?” (What’s the trouble?)
We, the young couple at 2:00 in the morning that included a very pregnant woman, hesitated, and then I blurted: “Viz!” (water).
The doctor didn’t make it to the hospital in time. Prajna and Benjamin agreed that they had waited enough.
“Fiú” (boy) said a nurse as Benjamin presented himself.
Hours later I walked home. It was about four in the morning and the sky was getting light.
Benjamin has an American birth certificate and passport and no Hungarian citizenship at all. Aside from crying a lot he was an easygoing baby and a great eater. Over the years Benjamin has stayed amiable and easygoing albeit he turns 13 in 29 days now and it’s beginning to show. He’s my son.