I
could blame a lot of things for the condition of my blog the last few weeks. My
favorite excuse is my truck crapping out on the side of highway 395 a month
ago. That road trip and sabbatical was supposed to refresh my soul. How can I
write anything good with a stale soul? It’s like trying to bake with sawdust
and kitty litter instead of flour and sugar.
All
excuses aside, I have been a little uninspired lately. I have had trouble
getting to the point I think I want to make. The weird thing is that my blog
will start to make sense around the third paragraph or so, but I still post the
preceding ones too. But if this blog entry isn’t making it, don’t skip forward.
Stick with me. This may be as good as it gets.
I’m
a little tired this week. My fault entirely and I have no regrets here. I made
up my mind to participate in NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. The
goal of this is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. I wanted to accomplish
this. I have written 47 thousand, and some word first draft before that took a
few years of off and on writing. With this, I am aiming for 50,000 words in 30
days. As of day 11, I was at 25,104 words. I’m ahead for now.
I’ve
been doing this by getting up before 5 every morning and writing for about two
hours. It’s not easy when I work until 10 at night. Sometimes that means less
than 6 hours of sleep. Sleep deprivation can make me a little edgy. I am trying
the best I can not to inconvenience anyone by my pursuit of this venture. But
I’m afraid I can’t always appear to be wholly together. Prajna is being very
patient with me, but for the most part would rather not hear me talk about how
the story is going. And that’s okay. We love each other very much.
Prajna
knew I had a little eccentricity when we met. But still she let me kiss her
that first time 21 years ago this Wednesday. And as much as I love writing I
love her more.
There,
it took to paragraph 5 this time to say anything meaningful. But if that’s the
best thing I can write this month, how much I love my wife, then so be it. My
“novel” is nothing, literally. Although it’s saved to several computers and an
online backup, nothing is printed out. It’s all just magnetic lines of computer
data. Vanity of vanities. But that’s okay because way up at the other end of
what’s real is my lovely bride of almost 20 years with a love we share that is
just about the realist thing I have ever felt in my life.
I’m
going to try to keep up the writing for the rest of the month and maybe get
some sleep in when I can. Maybe next week I will say what I’m thankful for. If
it starts out confused or cliché sounding at first, bear with it. There may be
a gem by the end.
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