When
I couldn’t grasp things as a kid I might have dreamed about them in order to
sort them out. I remember dreaming worst-case scenarios, playing them out in my
head and managing to survive. One dream I remember as a young kid had an
endless line of cars streaming between me on one side of the street and my home
where I needed to go. All I remember in the dream is jumping ahead in time and
finding myself home with my dad telling me it would be alright.
My
young mind went though all kinds of “what if?” questions. In later elementary
school I walked home most days past the crossing guards at the corners outside
the school. The captain, an upper classman, would blow a whistle and two other
kids would lower their signs, round stop signs at the end of long poles that
extended out into the crosswalk. When the students were done crossing the
captain would blow twice from the whistle and the guards would raise their
signs. I remember hearing the strong, authoritative voice of a crossing guard
once ordering me to stop before I crossed the street so he could allow traffic
to pass. It didn’t matter to me that these were elementary school kids not much
older than me. To me, they held astounding strength and ability. They could stop
traffic on the main street in my town. Where I had always been told that there
was danger and I had dreamed of being stranded, these kids were Moses parting
The Red Sea. Nothing seemed stronger than them. But not even my anxious little mind
could have imagined the showdown I witnessed that one afternoon.
It
felt cool and the shadows were long. It was probably the end of another day
that I had sat in the classroom trying to absorb information I hoped I would
need someday. I may still remember facts and information from the classroom
that day or I may not. It was after school, walking home that I have not
forgotten. I didn’t need to cross the street where the crossing guards were
working. I walked by, alone as usual and glanced at the kids with their orange
safety vests, yellow helmets and stop signs at the end of long poles. The kids
were holding the poles extended into the crosswalk and a crowd of kids was moving in
the crosswalk. Then I heard it. From my right came the unmistakable wail of the
ambulance siren. The ambulance was a converted Chevy van decked out with red flashing lights,
so cool it was one of my dream vehicles.
Everybody got out of its way and it could run red lights. And the thought raced in my mind: Why didn't I ever consider this? Of course this has to happen. The immovable
crossing guards would have to someday stand and face this, the unstoppable
ambulance.
The kids in the crosswalk ran to
the curb like a wave slapping the shore. The siren grew louder and I watched in
astonishment as the two crossing guards actually held their signs down in the
crosswalk still and looked down in the direction of the approaching emergency
vehicle. It may have been only a second or two, but in my young life, these two
seconds were where time stopped. And here is where I have a clear picture
in my mind of two crossing guards holding their signs, the long afternoon
shadows, and in this stopped time, there is the growing sound of an approaching
ambulance.
Suddenly
time started again with the two quick blasts of the captain’s whistle. The two
guards yanked their signs up and it seemed that at the same instant, the
ambulance appeared and drove through. Perhaps it had won this showdown. But the
crossing guards had held out to the very end and gone with as much strength and
dignity as possible.
It
was all I could tell my mom about when I got home that day. I never considered for a moment that the ambulance
driver would have slowed down in a school zone and not hit any children.
In my young
mind there was never any compromise. Whoever was stronger would always triumph.
And in the world the debate seems timeless. Generations ago, who was stronger,
Tarzan or Flash Gordon? The Axis or the Allies? The reds or the rest of the
world? Nowadays I still see it. Gandalf or Dumbledore? Them or us? My cat or the
praying mantis?
And the big
question, will there ever be an epic struggle and will we ever have to find out?
As a child,
the biggest fear I had was not being able to achieve the safety of home. The crossing
guards were there, but even their work could be disrupted, I saw. And I wonder how
much of the most important struggles I fret about all come down to just that. The
current events of the world that everyone seems to be most frightened over seem
to be the ones that would deny someone a safe place. I wonder... if that is what we
are all really afraid of, what can be done to settle the struggles before they become
so epic? Maybe that sounds like the mind of a young child asking who is still impressed
with flashing lights and sirens. I sometimes wish the world could be that simple.
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