I
love driving the golf cart, one hand on the wheel, once foot hanging out the side,
the breeze blowing, and I feel like I’m the king of all I see. I hung my foot
out of the golf cart Friday the 7th and passed too close to a fence pillar. It pressed
my foot down, spraining it. I was home on my lunch break. Well I had to get back
to work, so I elevated it and iced it and then tried to stand on it. There was a
knife-like shooting pain. Prajna had to drive me to urgent care. The whole way,
I just didn’t want to believe that I had injured myself. I had a busy weekend
and an even busier next one. I couldn’t take off from work, I had just come
back to work that Tuesday after a week off.
I
was ordered to wear an orthopedic boot and stay off of my foot until a follow
up on Tuesday. I went ahead and checked with the doctor, it would be okay
though, if I went to work where I do some walking and lifting? He shook his
head. There are times when even denial can’t save me.
I didn’t want to accept
that I would be unable to go to work for maybe a week. I kept wishing I hadn’t been
such an imbecile putting my foot out of the golf cart. Finally, all I could do was
believe that God never wastes a hurt. Something good would come of this and I just
wanted to actively look for it.
I stayed in bed
for three days with my foot elevated. I couldn’t sit at my laptop to write or
blog. I used my iPod touch and kept up with Facebook and Twitter. I listened to
a lot of music and I finished a very good book that the author signed for me at
the Storyline conference. Love Does
by Bob Goff convicted me.
What was I holding
on to as my identity? What did I value so very much? It was kind of easy to see,
because I had lost it that week. It’s what I have valued in myself more than almost
anything. It’s this: Being irreplaceable.
I have made great efforts
to make myself impossible to replace. Maybe it’s easy to understand why I thought
that was a good idea. Last decade I lost two jobs. I must have thought that I needed
to become inimitable and that would make me bulletproof. Well, it did an awful disservice
to the folks who relied on me when I went away to San Diego and they didn’t know
how to do things.
Then a week later I
was put on bedrest where I had to come to grips with the fact that other people
can do what I do. And they did. Two of my kids, Benjamin and Sarah went to my work
and took care of things. When the big weekend event came, they handled it. And the
reason for that was because they had worked with me before and knew how to do my
job.
So I learned a couple
of things. First, have an exit strategy. Train replacements, apprentices, substitutes,
whatever it takes. Have faith in those I work for that they won’t dismiss me just
because other people can do my job.
Most of all, I learned
that my value will never come from being irreplaceable at anything.
I need to exchange that for humble submission to God. I need to not value
such a prideful attitude, lest I end up humbled like King Nebuchadnezzar
again, put out of commission for a time to rethink who’s really in charge.
No comments:
Post a Comment